


Barstool Fairytale

by Phandabbydosey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Poor!Dan, Rich!Phil, Songfic, Theif!Dan, rich/poor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandabbydosey/pseuds/Phandabbydosey
Summary: ~Songfic for The Whiskey, the Liar, the Thief by Patent Pending~Dan is a thief and Phil is a liar, both boy’s making their way through life miserable and alone. One night they meet and, after sharing a few glasses of whiskey, realise they might have finally found someone to love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is phandabbydosey if you would rather read this over there :D

Dan had never worked a day in his life. He spent his childhood years following after his brother, learning how to live off his wits and sticky fingers. Their parents were gone and they had no home so his brother became his role model and, by age twelve, Dan knew how to steal and con his way from one day to the next.

He learnt an important lesson about picking targets carefully when he was fifteen and watched from a dark alleyway as his brother was arrested after trying to steal from a wealthy looking woman. From then on he was on his own, sleeping alone in doorways and working solo when he swiped items from the market stalls. It was hard, but he adapted and made it work for himself.

He was twenty years old now, still living as dishonestly as before. There were bad days, days where he didn’t get any food and shivered throughout the night as the rain soaked through his clothing, but they passed and he was skilled enough to have those days be a minority. Most days he had a full stomach and even some spare coins to go and spend in a tavern, buying a few drinks with his stolen money before leaving to find somewhere to sleep.

It was in no way a luxurious life, but he survived and got by relatively comfortably. That was all that really mattered, though sometimes he wished he had someone to share his time with.

No one wanted to be friends with a thief.

——————————–

Phil had never worked a day in his life. He grew up in the lap of luxury, having every wish granted and every whim met before he could even click his fingers. His parents were part of the aristocracy, so Phil spent his childhood surrounded by suits and ball gowns and extravagant dinner parties.

At age nineteen he found himself dancing with a girl in a white dress with a brand new gold ring encircling his finger. It wasn’t a marriage of love, it was a union of two affluent families through the matrimony of their children. The girl was nice enough but Phil wasn’t happy. He smiled though and kept up the act, because he had a secret life hidden in the darkness of the night.

Once his family was asleep, he’d pull on his cloak and silently slip out of the window, his immaculately polished shoes clacking against the cobbled streets of the ‘bad side’ of town.

He waste the nights in the taverns, his wedding ring laying unmentioned in his cloak pocket as he flirted with men and women a like. It was rare that he’d see the same person more than once, but he was okay with that.

He was a liar, few people knew the real him and he kept it that way. Sometimes he wished he could actually be close to someone, have a proper friend for the first time in his life. But there were some things that even a fortune couldn’t buy him, so he just settled for what he had.

——————————-

Phil was twenty four when he first met the scruffy, brown haired boy up at the bar. His breath was heavy with the scent of liquor and he leant closer to Phil as he sat upon the adjacent bar stool.

“Hello there, gorgeous,” he breathed huskily, his words edging on slurring, “Could I get you a drink?”

“You most certainly can,” Phil smirked, his eyes twinkling playfully as the boy passed a couple of tarnished coins over to the bartender in exchange for two glasses of whiskey. Phil took one and sipped at it, smiling as he felt the familiar burn of the drink down his throat, “What’s your name then?”

“Dan, how about you?”

Phil hesitated a moment, but decided against a fake name. This boy looked like he lived on the streets, it was unlikely he was aware of who Phil’s family were, “I’m Phil.”

“So Phil, what’s someone like you doing in a tavern like this?” They’d been sat together for almost an hour now, Dan using his stolen coins to buy them glass after glass of whiskey. Dan’s eyes ran across Phil’s obviously expensive clothes, clothes that made him stand out like a sore thumb in the grotty little pub, “Who’re you running from?”

“Aren’t you an perceptive one?” Phil chuckled gently, taking another sip of his drink and looking over Dan. Something about him was … alluring, his dark eyes teasing Phil into giving everything over to him. The slight intoxication also loosened his tongue a little, “I’m running from life. I’ve had everything I’ve ever wanted given to me, except the one thing I really wanted: freedom. Freedom to go where I want, do what I want,” mischief glinted in Phil’s eyes, “Do _who_ I want.”

“Well, I can certainly help with your liberation in that area,” Dan snickered slyly, leaning closer to Phil as subtly as he could. He’d picked up on the flirtatious vibes Phil was giving out, but knew he had to be careful about his sexuality in public. He didn’t want to break the law everyday then end up getting arrested for homosexuality, “It’s a far cry from your manor houses and fine robes, but I know an abandoned little house where we can go and … have some privacy.”

The pair quickly finished their drinks and stumbled out of the tavern, giggling drunkenly the whole way.

———————————

After a handful of hours moaning and sweating and crying out in pleasure, Dan and Phil parted with the promise of meeting again. Neither had felt that sort of connection before and, while they were too proud to ever admit it, both were glad to find someone and weren’t ready to pass up on the opportunity to get closer.

They met up often at that same tavern and grew closer and closer. Phil quickly learned about Dan’s dishonest ways, and realised just as quickly that he didn’t care. He was hardly a perfect human being, he was in no place to judge. Besides, Dan accepted that Phil was a liar and brushed off the fact that they were betraying Phil’s whole family by continuing their little fling.

Except, it was becoming more than a fling. Neither of them could deny the feelings growing between them, the way one smiled adoringly when the other took up their usual spot at the bar together. Even the bartender had commented on how well they got along.

It’d been two months since the two boys had first met and they were once again in the abandoned house, glowing in the aftermath of whiskey and sex, a dozy Dan laying across Phil’s pale torso with the sheets tangled around his lithe body.

“I think I love you,” Dan murmured, focusing on the finger he was tracing across the sparse, black hair on Phil’s chest.

“I think I love you too,” Phil whispered back, holding Dan close with a hand on his lower back, “But, I’m married and you don’t have a home. We won’t ever be able to have more than this, stolen moments gained through deceit.”

“We could have more,” Dan’s voice was breathy and soft, his lips gently pressing against the underside of Phil’s jaw.

“What’re you on about Dan?”

“We could run away,” sensing Phil’s eyeroll, Dan pushed himself up slightly to look him in the eye, completely serious, “Don’t make that face. We’re both unhappy, you spend everyday lying to everyone but me for goodness sake. We could run away, go to some little village in the countryside and start all over. You could bring some money to keep us going until we can get settled, then we can live together and _be_ together. We can do it Phil, we can get away from all this and be happy.”

Phil sighed deeply and looked down into Dan’s eyes. They were begging with him to take the risk, to take off and start a new life with the young thief who had stolen Phil’s heart in a few short months. It was a completely crazy idea that could result in their ruin, but Dan was right; Phil would be substantially happier spending his life with Dan than with his wife, even if it meant swapping his wealth for poverty and uncertainty.

“Alright, let’s run away.”

Dan smiled hugely and lowered his head, kissing Phil passionately and making a small, gleeful noise into it. Phil chuckled and cupped Dan’s cheeks, holding him still so he didn’t smash their teeth together in the kiss as he had done before when drunk.

They were just two boys, a liar and a thief who had met over a glass of whiskey in a dingy London pub, and maybe they were going to hell, but they’d found happiness in each other and that was all that really mattered.

_Never thought they’d find love drowning sorrows at the pub,_

_The Whiskey, The Liar, The Thief!_

 


End file.
